oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Mom said you looked used
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
