3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
