Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
