I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
