I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
false alarm, still single
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