It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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