I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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