was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
