Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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