did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
