There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
