I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
