Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
