you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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