i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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