trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it because I queefed?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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