would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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