her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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