i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
