Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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