Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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