I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
