The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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