never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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