At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
