Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
