she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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