We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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