I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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