Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
A bitchslap is in order.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
