My balls are so social today.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
