I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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