so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
