hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize