woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
