look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
