Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
