We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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