You work out of a Hotel?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
