hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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