but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
