You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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