I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
