when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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