I think my vagina is haunted
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you had me at cake vodka
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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