Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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