Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You left your phone here
Wait...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
