here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
