if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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