We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
