Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
