Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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