do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
