cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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