I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
