her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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