I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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