Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
