if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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