using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
