Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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