I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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